The Silent Dance of Masculine and Feminine
In my silent practice, two voices have come up from the depths and begun a dance I am sure they were dancing even when noise filled my mind and I simply could not hear their graceful footsteps.
One voice is masculine, one is feminine…but the distinction has been an effort to make for their communion is so intertwined I have had to listen closely to find which was which…and to realize that not just their voice, but their language, words, and expression also are distinct if you stop long enough to really hear them.
“Meet me at the shores of some forgotten ocean,” I can hear the masculine whisper, “and I shall wash your feet and bathe away your sorrows.”
“If I shed my tears, they shall mix within your waters, ” the feminine responds, “and I do not want to disturb your peace.”
“These waters and your tears have come from the same place, the same source. Shed your tears, and let your story be the waves that come and go,” he says, “beneath those waves my peace and yours remains.”
As I listen to these voices within…I begin to hear them around me also, from the people with whom I interact. And I realize how often we have acted from our masculine, when it was the feminine that needed to be nurtured; and how often we surrender in our feminine when the masculine is being called to act.
I look around and I see many women seeking power through their masculine aspects, when their true feminine power lies in surrender, in the strength to trust and open.
And I see men using their logic and thinking to manipulate women into paying them attention, validation, and loyalty. The desire to be seen and heard is their feminine side asking to be held, yet they too bring their masculine structure to answer what the feminine is best to handle.
I believe a man’s true masculine power lies in his ability of devotion; to support, lift, and give trusted space to the feminine to express.
“Do you trust that I do not need you to fulfill me, but that I cherish the fulfillment holding you gives me,” the masculine asks of my feminine.
“In moments of safety, when I feel the tension of your Being pulling, not away from me, but rather pulling to hold me as I lean back in surrender, I can see the truth of your cherished fulfillment, ” she says, “but when you try to prove your worth to me by showing your strength or worldly knowledge, I lose faith for you are too busy proving yourself to me instead of listening to my needs. I will always test you…but it is not your worth that I am testing..it is your stability. Can you hear me, lift me, and still remain solid where you stand?”
I realize, that sometimes I am so busy proving myself I do not listen to what is being asked of me. It’s like the feminine asking the masculine to take out the trash, and the masculine responding, “Look, I am strong enough to build this house, smart enough to make good money, and skilled enough to fix things when they break.” And then the feminine saying, “Yes, that’s nice, but the trash smells, can you please take it out?
Our masculine side must learn to listen, and our feminine side must learn to ask.
For my feminine, it is not an asking by means of petition, but rather it is by means of invitation. Express what needs and wants you have as feminine and the masculine will hear you. Express only those things not wanted, such as in complaint, and the masculine does not know where to support. My masculine wants to serve, his devotion compels him, but if his only clues are what is wrong or not wanted, he will not know in which way to serve.
The masculine must wait, stay patient in his solid stance, and give the feminine time to find the words and safety to express what she actually wants.
In devotion, my masculine does not seek to change, control, or possess. For his worship is not of a trophy or conquest, but rather his worship is a recognizing, beholding, and appreciating of the feminine before him that gives him his greatest purpose – to support and serve.
He must stop with his agendas and drop into service and appreciation, and the feminine must give him space to be trusted in doing so.
“If you want me to trust you, than lead me by your example, not by your stories and supplication. Show me, move me, know me – and I will invite you into my home,” the feminine says.
“I am but the piano keys here to strike the strings that sing your song,” says the masculine, “there will be times that I lose the harmony and I ask that you trust I have not stopped listening. I ask that you not fill in the missing notes where I have fallen absent, for if I do not hear the gap, I will not know where to jump back in.”
I can see that when my feminine does not invite or create space for my masculine to compliment her Being, then he is left without purpose, and the masculine without purpose will seek another purpose or otherwise become frustrated. All too often his frustration is brought against the feminine for whom he simply wants to serve, but who does not allow him.
My masculine wants to provide for his partner, yet the feminine has deemed she is capable of providing for herself. So, where does that leave him? He begins to wish for her to give up her things, her control, her power, so he can feel useful.
Can the masculine instead of asking her to empty her cup, make his cup large enough to encompass hers. Like this, might she feel held and accepted in her self-made security…and maybe, eventually, release that security to the strength of his.
When my feminine denies the offering of the masculine to hold space for her…she is telling him “I do not trust you” and this is the worst insult the feminine can make. She is also teaching him to be untrustworthy – for if all he hears from her is that she does not trust him…he will eventually believe that is what she desires and will fulfill his service as such.
My feminine is changing her mind, opinion, emotions, action and attitude all the time…but she will remember and hold the masculine to his. Thus as the masculine I must not seek to abide to her every wish and whim, or to bend her to my own…it will not work. Rather, I must expand the presence of my masculine self, hold the space that allows the feminine to express in all her varied ways, and not believe what the feminine says or speaks, but rather listen to her body and her energy. For her words will change with every emotion and circumstance, and it is the subtle and soft language not of her mind that requires my attention and response.
The dance of the masculine and feminine is about knowing the character of each…and that they do not “need” each other as dependents, but rather can unite in balance to lift each other in a brilliant expression of movement and dance. They can see the divine perfection of one another and in that recognition of beauty, have no choice but to overflow with the worship of each other.
The fully realized Goddess will recognize the God…the fully realized God will recognize the Goddess.
I am silent, listening and observing this ecstatic dance moving within me. And when I look to others, I see the partnership dipping, whirling, and holding within them also.
“Let us dance, I will lead, I will follow, we shall make music with our footsteps.”